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pandora sugarland
18 May 2007 @ 08:29 am
all the way thru my master's everything. degree to be conferred in august. what sucks is that i'm still considered a level I teacher for two more years, so i only get a raise of about $800. bathetic.

next year will be all about sending out resumes. i lub my kidz here, but the admin. is too much not what i'm about. dave and i have talked about moving outside of the u.s. i might try to get a teaching english gig somewhere in south america; no idea where. chile or argentina would be amazing.

i'm still waiting on american university to let me know if they will fly me from MN to DC and back again before i can make a definitive itinerary for summer travel. i'd like to make it back to MN the first week in june, so i can park my car in shannon's husband's beeg shop on the farm and shannon has volunteered to zephee sit, as well. i'd rather not leave my vehicle here unattended and i wouldn't want dave to feel saddled w/ caring for zephee if he needs to go back to texas, etc... i wish he could come to d.c. with me. i'm still hoping he'll want to fly in and visit at some point... though he really isn't a big city boy...he's a cowboy at heart and loves those wide open spaces.

i'm really excited about having access to a gym for three weeks. i can't remember the last time i exercised--it's pathetic. that will be one of the major criteria for the next place that i live.

i want to pick up the new rufus wainwright. saw him on letterman sporting lederhosen last night.

i'm also taking dave to see brother ali in flagstaff tomorrow night. i got a hotel within walking distance so we can get a little bit of drink on. love the ali. i've been slowly exposing him, so i think it'll be an all around fun experience. i love flagstaff.
 
 
pandora sugarland
25 April 2007 @ 01:14 pm
I am out the loop-de-loop!

I'm headed all the way across Arizona for a baby shower this weekend... I'm not fond of the baby daddy, don't think he is treating my friend of 20-odd years quite right... I've tried to speak with her about this in the past-the word 'brainwashed' even popped up because his words seemed to keep coming out of her mouth. I guess I am in no position to judge. However, when we went to visit a few weeks ago on our way out to Cali, the baby daddy was a jerkass to my man. So, it's all a mess. Dave's only going to go as far as Flagstaff w/ me this wknd, and I'll have to drive the three hours there and back by my lonesome. I was debating whether to go at all--I want to support my friend, but I can no longer support the way he treats people, especially her. But, she actually had the baby a month early and sounded so excited for me to be there because she doesn't have much support out there... Quite the conundrum, to be sure.

Other than that, I'm really excited about my time in DC and NYC this summer. Also excited about making it back to MN for a spell to see family and friends; they are dying to meet Dave. In fact, my mother can no longer contain her curiosity and is flying down next wknd!

I'm planning to stay in NM for one more year and really focus on the job hunt during that time. I'm thinking it might be time to hit up a big city once again... Portland is high on our list right now, but it all depends on where we can both find suitable jobs.

My students are really pulling through at the end of the year... Although my administration and fellow staff members are dampening my enthusiasm. How different would my life and career be if I worked around people with whom I shared some kind of common interests?

Last night I said to Dave, "Let's go down the block and get some coffee. Let's go to a play, an art opening. Let's see some live music." None of these things are available except within 100 miles of here, and even then, it's a less than stellar assortment.

I watched a documentary on the Summer of Love in San Fran last night...I'm wondering where that sense of revolution has been buried...I know there are movements out there that are even more radical, but it seems like so many have sold out in favor of the corporate ladder and a minivan. But, once again, I am not one to judge, as I want a peice of whatever scraps are remaining of the 'American dream' that are left (even though I know it died a long time ago.) If having Bush in power for this long has not incited enough of a counter-resistence, what will???

[Sorry, don't know where the little pseduo-political rant came from, but it becomes difficult to keep a long term goal in mind when things are unraveling so rapidly in all directions.]

I ran across this quote a while back and haven't been able to look for it's source:

"To burn always with this hard, gem-like flame, to maintain this ecstacy, is success in life."

I don't think it's realistic, but it's something to strive for.
 
 
pandora sugarland
12 March 2007 @ 06:52 pm
haven't been able to keep up here. craziness. zaniness.

i am in love and can not concentrate on anything.

not even my master's thesis.

speaking of which, i better run back to class.
 
 
pandora sugarland
22 January 2007 @ 06:15 pm
it's been almost a month, perhaps a new record for me? ah, well. i've been busy living, so i guess it's okay.

things are good, for the most part. uncertainty about next year continues to swirl around in my mind. dave is thinking left coast. i have one year left in the district if i want my retirement matched and my perkins loan entirely cancelled. i don't know if i could go back to doing this alone. i don't know what kind of balance is hanging in the balance.

my poor friend thomas is going crazy from isolation out here. i think he and i are going to have to ditch dave and hit up a drag show and some dancing this weekend.

line up for coachella looks freaking stellar. it's a must this year. within driving distance and all...

i'm taking my last course for my masters this semester. rock on.

i miss every one. i'm a little homesick for MN right now.
 
 
pandora sugarland
22 December 2006 @ 10:45 am
don't know why i'm writing this since i probably won't be able to check it for the next two weeks. but, of course there's a problem with scheduling my xmas break... i've been invited to the boys family then on to taos, but there is also my friend angie who i've been avoiding all week because she wants to take a big trip... the choice between the friend and the boy is easy, but making it all happen is not. wicked pissa.

we can't all be together.

i don't think i've ever had a romantic vacay w/ me and a boy... when else will i have this chance?

i'm already an ass for not calling her this week.

well, it's going to have to work out one way or another.

i made some cute christmas cards today, at least.
 
 
 
pandora sugarland
15 December 2006 @ 08:51 am
i like it when my boy wakes up while i'm getting ready for work and he's lying on my bed with zephee lying on his chest.

not a bad way to start a friday.
 
 
pandora sugarland
14 December 2006 @ 02:13 pm
Looking counter clockwise
Knowing what could happen
Any moment maybe you maybe even you

Steadfast collapse
Always certain any moment
Maybe you maybe you
Maybe even you
Recline complete dream too sweet
I can't do it not with you
Not even with you
Maybe never with you

And I'd sell my soul for
Total control
Yeah I'd sell my soul for
Total control

Street wet tonight, lovers touch
It's pure delight
Always certain any moment
Maybe even you
Stay in bed stained sheets
My head hurts I repeat
Maybe you maybe you maybe even you

And I'd sell my soul for
Total control
Yeah I'd sell my soul for
Total control
Ooh I'd sell my soul for
Total control over you
Over you
Total control over you



Kinda sick sentiment, but sung poetically over a crooner beat... I need this essential Motels cd.

I made all kinds of appointments in Abq. on Saturday. D's parents may be coming to visit, so I might hafta get the heck outta dodge.

Things are weird, but it'll all be alright.
 
 
pandora sugarland
11 December 2006 @ 09:59 am
the b-day came and went w/out fanfare. i do not feel different. i can't feel the meaning behind days much anymore. i had a hard time feeling thanksgiving. i've got some big ideas for christmas, though.

well, there's two plans. the thought just occurred to me that i could drive back to mn w/ the boy. it would be much cheaper if we split everything. the cold here gets to him, though. i'd have to invest in some underarmor or some such thing so he could survive. he's real skinny.

but, i'd only want to stay for a week; he might be a little traumatized after two weeks...

i should stress that this is pure fantasy right now.

i also thought we should go to mexico, maybe that second week. he's been there a lot since he grew up on the border...

i found him two x-mas presents. i still need to get him some fingerless gloves and a plant to put in the traditionally woven suspended plant holder that i purchased from the wife of our custodian, george. i also got dave a copy of round ireland with a fridge since he's into the irish thing and also a copy of dr. strangelove that he mentioned once that he really wanted. i want to make him a cool-ass iron on t-shirt, but i can't find the perfect design.

he likes dragons... i found a pretty decent design here:

http://www.cafepress.com/esangha.89022472

he was rocking a sleeveless british flag tshirt all weekned... he dresses like a rock star no matter what. it's kinda fun to have a lanky ken doll who dresses all punk rock. we need to go shopping together one of these times.

he has a job interview in Abq. today which could potentially cause him to relocate elsewhere in the state. don't know what this means. i know he's not very fond of the small town where we live. i think i am basically the main thing keeping him here (along w/ free rent.) he doesn't seem to be leaning toward taking this new job, but they are buying him dinner, etc. maybe he can use it to bargain w/ the district?

we giggled through episodes of the three stooges last night as the snow was sprinkling down...

we made a few little drives around the area all weekend. we drove down this abandoned highway and we could've gotten in big trouble. chaos does kinda follow my boy, but i think i sort of tend to neutralize it. the whole milky sugar thing...

angie met a guy two inches taller than dave last week and has used the words 'soul mate' so i guess that's cool. she made a sicilian dinner in honor of my b-day on saturday night. it was fine. we didn't stay too long. we watched head.

o crap. bell ringing. kids rushing in. send me ideas for cool tshirts.
 
 
pandora sugarland
30 November 2006 @ 11:06 am
they announced a 2 hour delay yesterday. d. slept over so i set the alarm for 9 am. i called back at 9 and they announced all gmcs schools were closed due to about 3-4 inches of snow on the ground. hells yeah!

so i made swiss apple pancakes and sausage and we laid on the couch and watched movies all day until 4.45 when the idea struck to make our way through the snowy streets to hit up the post office to see if my new netflix disc had arrived. i used my MN winter driving skillz and we made it in time. we watched movies all night and he ended up sleeping over again. i showed him i heart huckabees and he showed me altered states. we started to watch butch cassidy and the sundance kid but opted for the type o negative videos/documentary instead.

i cut up a pummelo, kiwis and gala and braeburn apples (w/ peanut butter) and we also had these delish olive oil and cracked pepper triscuits w/ aged white cheddar and a roma tomato in a little olive oil w/ salt n pep. snacks for dinner. he barely eats one meal per day. actually, i should do the same since i'm expending a lot fewer calories than he typically does... he is pretty much a rail, though. i am pretty much constantly aware of my own tummy pouch.

he was still asleep when i had to get ready for work this morning. no two hour delay, unfortunately.

the kids are working on finishing their person of significance research papers today...

that s. king writing book d. gave me is inspiring me a little to pick up my old creative nonfiction peices. i need to build in some time to work on those. (probably after my two grad courses wrap up next week.)
 
 
pandora sugarland
28 November 2006 @ 08:39 am
d. told me to drive over to his house last night because he bought me stuff that i wouldn't be able to carry home... i was obviously curious. i was hoping maybe he'd found a bookshelf, since that is what i really need. turns out he bought me glassware. plates and bowls and mugs. placemats and little mats to place under cups... and of course the fondue forks. not quite sure what to make of it. awful sweet, though.

i slept rather fitfully last night. mostly because he was playing bob marley and that is not really sleepytime music for me. i also had nightmares that he and i were in a strangers house and we got caught. i also had nightmares that my parents were fighting in front of him, about money. it was terrible. then i woke up with a sense that he was reading my mind. he does have some weird jedi mind tricks. he can read lips and body language really well and he knows the pantomimes when people are lying...

we started, but did not finish Time Bandits last night. he said he once dated a girl that looked like shelly duvall.

it snowed a little bit last night. supposed to snow more throughout the day/night. the wind whipping around his roof/car port was freaking me out a little. the whistling like banchees gave me an odd feeling of doom, which i think he sensed because he made sure to hold me tight.

everyone needs a snow day around here. i want to sing the entertainment tonight theme song and jump on his bed.